you are the personification of everything i hold dear. you have taught me more about unconditionality and patience than i knew possibly existed. there are not enough superlatives in the world to describe how you have changed my life, only know always that i love you. you will never have to want, or worry, or hide. you will always have a home where i will chase away monsters and ghosts , where unicorns come to play and where tales grow tall and long. never fear that you will grow to old to climb up in my lap, to cuddle, i will hold you as you laugh and as you cry. you came into my life, four years ago today, and i looked down at you both, as small as my hand, lying in the incubators, covered in tubes and i finally felt love so deep that it consumes me. every night i sneak into your room and place my hand on your backs, just to make sure you are breathing and that you are warm. in that special moment, my breath catches as i look at your sleeping faces. it still consumes me, this overwhelming emotion caught somewhere in the middle of my throat. happy birthday my emma. happy birthday my sebastian.

I came upon this tonight looking for something else. I had no idea when I wrote it in 2004 that dragons would come into our lives so quickly. And consume us so thoroughly. I am fighting, and will continue to fight because your well being and happiness really does mean everything to me.