Silent? Not anymore.
Saturday was International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and I let it pass without marking it in my blog. I was very conscious of the day, but have been so so careful not to talk about violence against women and children in this blog more than in brief passing for fear of letting too much slip – but then I realized that the aspect of this that makes me so angry, and the aspect that has darkened my life in the last year is this silence. This being silenced. This fear to speak up and say- you know, that is really not ok. But it is not just me that seems to be afraid to speak up. It also seems that the people trained and employed to say this for you also tread too lightly. There is still a very strong tendency to blame the victim. You would think that in all our pseudo enlightenment, we would have stopped this dangerous behavior. Why do we insist on asking how it was asked for? Why do we insist on giving just one last chance to the abuser…then one last chance, then one last chance. Where are our champions? Where are the people willing to listen and willing to act. I am so frustrated and so angry. And while details will never be shared in this venue, my passion for changing this and for not staying silent will. If you don’t speak up, and I don’t speak up – then he/they win. All over again. Don’t they?
Nicklas said:
I saw a recent Swedish film about domestic violence, guilt, ‘the second chance’ and twisted masculinity on Folkets Bio the other week, called Den man älskar. I am not so sure about its qualities, but at least it is good that these issues are illuminated in a fairly complicated way. It is not up anymore, I am afraid, but there is always the Internet.. *ehum*
Stephanie said:
Thanks, Nicklas. I will have to check it out. I should also mention that this is a situation that is not present in my current relationship, but is something that takes many years to work through. I think that women are often expected to just be ok after leaving that type of relationship, but the reality is that time does not really do a darn thing. It takes much more than time to be ok again.