There is a blog-a-thon going on today for the blanknoise project which is asking people to blog about your experiences being harassed on the street – regardless of gender. I have one example that I could share, but as I am still dealing with that experience, I decided to draw upon other experiences. But wait! I just used the plural form of the word ‘experience’. I could use a plural there…and I am willing to bet than *many* women can as well.

Harassment has become so common place that it is almost expected, and often reciprocated. Especially workplace harassment. I worked as a waitress since I was 15. It is the perfect job for the student. Working 5 or 6 hours a night and money in your hand for books or food immediately. But harassement…putting up with leers for customers or even your boss made a significant difference in your take-home. Let me ‘break-it-down’. Waitresses at that time (1993 to 2000) were paid about $2.50 (ca. 30:-) an hour. After taxes, your paycheck was not even a consideration in your bud jet. Your main income came through tips. And getting the best tips became both a contest and an art form. There was an expected dance that you and the customers performed. You smile and greet, they sit and wait, you flirt and deliver, they smile and tip. And as much as it makes me cringe today to admit this, the shorter the skirt (I worked in a sports pub) the bigger the tip. But this was not just a dance between the customer and the waitress, but also between the management and the waitress. I remember when applying for the job, the hostess told me turned me away saying they were not hiring. As I was walking to my car, however, the manager ran out and told me that the hostess was mistaken. Later, when the hostess and I became friends, she told me that the manager yelled at her, ‘You don’t turn away someone that looks like her.’ It is all a game. The right makeup, the right skirt length, and the manager puts you in the sections of the restaurant that make the most money. We are so used to being harassed that we not only take it, but we play along. We smile and laugh and flirt and think it all harmless. At this particular job, I left having finally reported the manager for sexual harassment. After turning down many advances, he decided it would be funny to give me a little kick as I was picking up a mat to sweep up. I was angry and embarrassed and it was only then I started thinking about how my role in the gender game could lead to such actions. We are still so far from equatlity…and I truly wonder if we will ever get there…I do know, however, that we won’t go anywhere if we continue to flirt with those who belittle and harass us! oh, and p.s. this man was never reprimanded. as of three years ago, he was still working at the same restaurant.